Now it’s starting to feel like Christmas.
Can I do this? I really freaking hope so. I wanna smash something into tiny little pieces right now. Ugh.
Just Another Man - Tim Be Told
Father, hear our broken cries from a world so fallen!
Help us see that in one Man our hope will never die
And His people call Him Savior Jesus, Love Abounding
Give me strength to do all that I can
I am not just another man
An old song, I know, but gorgeous: beautifully played and sung yet so hopelessly saddening. The world is so unbelievably cruel. And the majority of us see solely glimpses of those crushing tragedies in our protected spheres of existence and feel just fleeting moments of pity. We don’t know the half of it.
And what makes the situation so desperately worse is the emptiness of a wasted life. The tragedy of a meaningless death without Christ. Life is our greatest gift, but if life is hell, then what?
The desperation of the music is so tangible. And I’m reminded that I’m not pulling all-nighters for nothing. There’s much bigger things at stake. When I graduate—if I graduate—I can help.
God, here I am. Send me.
Edit: This is a really personal post. I wrote it from the heart. I’m very self-conscious about personal posts—you can tell how self-conscious I am by seeing how I wrote an edit about being self-conscious. I tried really hard not to make this preachful—yes, I made up that word—but if it comes off like that, then don’t think of it like that. Just think of it as solely philosophical. But I do mean what I say.
I feel you.
Two more weeks.
Is it weird that when I see a dead body with tons of guts hanging out I’m more scared of it turning into a zombie and grabbing me than I am of all the blood and gore?
I gotta get over my fear of zombies before med school.